nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Let's get the cat blown out
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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