It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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