Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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