I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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