I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
