i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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