I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
