Me. At least after what I've been through.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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