Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Text me some of your sweat
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
