Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
