Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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