his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
