walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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