whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
