im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Be still, my beating vagina.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
