I just made out with a guy for $7.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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