Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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