you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
