how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
