Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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