She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
