champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
