Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
