I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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