There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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