You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
