Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
