Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
