Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize