Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
