Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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