And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize