Can Purell be used as lube?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
