he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
