i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
