I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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