its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
we should paint friendship bongs
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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