I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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