Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
