when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
