what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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