u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
