dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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