My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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