he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
