Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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