Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
