I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
