sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
