This girl is more easily done than said...
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
