Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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