Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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