I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
