I just cut my nipple shaving
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
